Dear Spammers,

To begin, I must thank you, because so far you have not overwhelmed my blog with your attempts-at-free-advertising comments, and I have not yet had to resort to using word verification or other time-consuming methods of slowing you down.

A few of you though have taken a shot, and your efforts are nothing short of entertaining. For example, those of you who go flat out for the kill and hope for the best, with no attempt to disguise your comment. Case in point:

“Great place to get for (sic) bankruptcy public records at lowest cost and fastest delivery on internet.”  (This was left on one of my “recommended reading” posts.)

Some of you see a natural opportunity, and you know what? If my post is about a butterfly party, and you actually sell related party supplies, I actually don’t have an issue with sharing your information. That’s okay.
There are mom bloggers among you who are just innocently eager to share your own projects, and I can handle a few “Love your blog! Please come visit my (fellow mom blog) site” comments. (I left a few of those myself back in my early days. You know, WAY back in 2010.)

However: “Love your blog! Please come visit my (erectile dysfunction drug) site”…not so much.

Those of you who amuse me the most are the spammers who try to kill me with kindness before dropping your absolutely apropos-of-nothing link:

“Nice blogging. My review is very good example.” (Link is to a site for a venture capitalist.)

Then there was “Eric” (probably not his real name): “I discovered your web site via Google while looking for a related subject, lucky for me your web site came up, its a great website. I have bookmarked it in my Google bookmarks. You really are a phenomenal person with a brilliant mind! Please Visit —— ——– Training Class.” Maybe there are bloggers who get so many comments that something like this would just slip through…but not I.

“I really like your blog its really nice. I really enjoy here. and Your article its so unique its amazing. Thanks a lot for sharing.Keep blogging.” Aw, shucks…thanks, “Cheap Essay”! Sarcasm warning: as a teacher, I can’t wait to promote your essay-writing service. Though based on your comment, I question whether your customers are really going to get their money’s worth…

As with all spam in general, a weaker command of the English language tends to be a giveaway:

“Randomly explain each things very detail in this blog, thank you.” Is that supposed to be a compliment? (Link is to a party supply site.)

But here’s my favourite one yet:

“What an exciting experience! Hilarious! Delightful! True! Wonderful stuff! Thank you!” (someone selling… well, something) But what a nice ego boost!

If any of you (spammers or regular readers) would like to leave a similar comment without trying to make money off it, I promise I will post it with pleasure.


This Mom

5 comments on “Sweet Spammers: An Open Letter”

  1. This is such an amazingly well-written post! I am so impressed with your wit and humour. I'd love it if you'd vote for my baby in the cutest baby contest. Also I have a great opportunity for you to make money online from home! I'll send you my e-book telling you all about it if you send me $10 through paypal.

  2. I saw this in my triberr and had to come read. Some of the comments I get crack me up too. I am happy my blogger filters them and they do not get posted. I have not yet, had to add word verification, and hopefully will not. Blogs are not the only place though,. I have noticed an increase in spam on twitter too. Especially via DM

  3. Bahaha this made me laugh, and I am not commenting for spamming reasons, or to get you to promote my blog which is…..tee hee hee…

    The title caught my eye on twitter, and I am glad that I actually stopped to read, b/c I needed the laugh. I always love the ones that compliment you, and then say they have a similar article, and yes my picture of my cute baby has been commented on with "similar" articles, to erectile dysfunction. I guess the similarity being that he is a boy, but judging from changing his diapers after naps, this is not a problem he has.

  4. bwahahaha that is too funny! You know the thought that bloggers have to put up with spammers never even crossed my mind. I loved reading your open letter! My sons looking at me like I lost my mind right now cause I'm laughing… OK I'm done now 😀 I really do love your blog btw 😉

    **This comment was in no way endorsed or sponsered in anyway… I only speak the truth**

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